Want A Better Relationship? Start Turning Towards Your Partner More

Every day in your relationship, you have infinite opportunities to connect or disconnect from your partner. Dr. John Gottman calls these "sliding door" moments--getting ready for work, doing chores, cooking meals, etc. Each is an opportunity which presents you with a choice for how to respond to your partner, either towards closeness or distance. Learn how to "turn towards" your partner during these moments, to be emotionally available, rather than turning away from them, emotionally disconnecting from them. Even if your relationship has become disconnected already, learn how to start building more intimacy and closeness. 

Stephanie Cook, LCSW, therapist and writer, discusses what "turning towards your partner" is, what it looks like, and how to get help if you think too much "turning away" is happening in your relationship.

 

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Fondness & Admiration: Key Ingredients for Happy Relationships

I often recommend Dr. John Gottman's most famous book, Seven Principles of Making Marriage Work, to any of my clients interested in improving their relationship, married or not. In couples therapy, I teach the skills in this book to help partners with the many difficulties related to conflict styles, communication, and strategies to heal long-term romantic relationships. 

If you're looking to build strong, sustainable, happy relationship, you have to work hard to keep liking your partner. No matter how much you love someone, if you spend enough time with them, you can grow annoyed and bored if you stop appreciating them . But this doesn't have to happen. Everyone can learn to create a healthy relationship with a culture of "fondness and admiration". 

In today's blog post, I share with you the key findings from Dr. Gottman's research on fondness and admiration, which is the second principle of making a marriage work.

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How to Stop Sabotaging Your Relationship

Stephanie discusses how to stop yourself from engaging in the types of habits that sabotage your relationship, especially when it's most difficult; when you are highly emotional, seeing red, or vulnerable to making bad decisions. We've all been there. You're hurt. You're angry. You're at risk for saying or doing something you can't un-say. Learn how to stop it.

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4 Relationship-Destroying Behaviors Every Couples Therapist Looks For

Stephanie Cook, LCSW, discusses the relationship-destroying behaviors that most couples are guilty of, and that couples therapists are always looking for. Stephanie also discusses how famous researcher and psychologist, Dr. John Gottman, found that the presence of these "Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse" can predict a relationship collapse in 93% of couples.

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