There's Still Time For New Resolve in Your Relationship

Yes, the calendar now reads 2020 and Times Square has no lingering pieces of confetti to tell us that thousands packed in to see another end, but that does not mean you are out of time for New Year Relationship Resolutions. In fact, it might be an even better moment to draft some ideas and discuss them with your partner.

Why? The hustle and bustle of the holidays is over, and the rush to get so many things done has come to an end. As other resolutions, started at the New Year, have started to settle into habit after weeks of practice, it may be time to take a look at investing new resolve to relationship improvement. As Valentine’s day approaches and winter’s quieter time has started to slide into place, tranquility brings a bit of mental space to make better, more workable relationship resolutions.

Everyone Wants to Improve

Statista, the fascinating organization that harvests all kinds of unique data, found out that most Americans opted for a single resolution for 2020. More than half said they wanted better finances, and another 38 said they wanted to be more mindful, many wanted to eat better or lose weight, and some wanted better social connections. What was missing from the list, and which is a bit disconcerting, is a resolution to improve their relationships with those they love.

Why should it be disconcerting? The simple fact is that relationships take work, vigilance, and input. They have to be evaluated by those involved in them, and any issues or weaknesses that might jeopardize their health must be addressed.

80% of resolutions fail by March of the year for which they were made. That means that even if you do make relationship resolutions, you also need to ensure they won’t fail you and your partner. The reasons for failure are the same for relationship resolutions as they are for any other resolutions. They include unable to be measured goals, goals with no long term plan for success, overly ambitious goals, or goals that are out of line with values of one of the two in the relationship.

Here’s what we mean: You say to a partner you want to “communicate better.” Is that in line with what your partner feels needs attention? Is it clearly defined so that both of you can measure it evenly?

Creating Meet-able Goals

Rather than creating very broad and difficult to measure goals and resolutions, why not talk with your partner about areas of focus that go a long way in improving almost every facet of the relationship.

For example, why not consider agreeing to one or more of these Relationship Resolutions:

. Go on a weekly date night – Quality time should not be a quarterly or semi-annual event. It should be a regularly scheduled part of your life. Yes, scheduling can be un-romantic, but disconnecting is even more so. A regular date lets you connect, plan, discuss dreams, holidays, and bond on a regular basis.

·         Forget the screens – One of the best ways to boost a relationship is to go screen-free for a set period of time every day or night. Turning off the phone, TV, tablet or other distraction lets you focus on one another fully and being as present as you each need.

·         Plotting an escape – One way to really connect is to create a short-term goal, such as a getaway or full-blown vacation within the year. Preparing for this, making it happen, and enjoying it together is incredibly bonding.

. You can also do your own couple’s book club in which you read a book together, or you can start to work out a few times each week together, or even volunteer together. All of these things emphasize communication, work and bonding.

Setting and sharing life goals together is an invaluable part of what keeps a relationship alive, exciting, and committed. If you are interested in learning more about making intentional change and investing in your relationship, call Couples Counseling ATL today for more information about our Gottman Seven Principles Workshop.

The Seven Principles Program will give you new insights and research-based relationship skills that can dramatically improve the intimacy and friendship in your relationship and help you resolve conflict in a healthy, productive way. This class combines teaching and demonstrations with one-on-one work sessions where you and your partner focus on your relationship with each other.

For more information call our Client Care Coordinator, Tamara Gleason, at 678-999-3390 or Tamara@CounselingATL.com, or visit our Workshop information page at https://counselingatl.com/7principlesworkshop .

COUPLES THERAPY & MARRIAGE COUNSELING IN ATLANTA

Couples Counseling ATL provides couples therapy and marriage counseling in Atlanta from two offices in Grant Park and Poncey Highlands. We also serve Morningside, Midtown, Buckhead, Virginia Highlands, Kirkwood, and the surrounding communities. Get started today with counseling, alone or together, in person or via online video.

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