Navigating ADHD and ADD with Your Partner

Have you ever wondered if there's a difference between ADHD and ADD? It's a common question, and we're here to shed some light on it. Many of us think of ADHD as the classic person who can’t sit still, but did you know that if your partner with ADD seems to have no energy and is often in la-la land, that could also be at play here?

Attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) is just a tricky name for it. It's not about not having enough attention or having a deficit of attention. It's about having dysregulated attention. If someone has ADHD, whether it’s you or your partner, you might often find yourselves very distractible most of the time. There are also times when you might have intense focus, or what we call hyperfocus.

But not having enough attention or a deficit isn't about control—it's about not having enough control or being able to choose where you direct your attention. When someone with ADHD really desires or wants to pay attention to something, it's about their ability. They might really want to pay attention to something but they're not necessarily able to do it at that time.

Getting proper treatment for ADHD usually involves building skills, tools, and strategies to help the person with ADHD have more control over their attention, emotional regulation, behavior, and memory. This can be frustrating, especially in relationships where both partners are trying to achieve certain goals, like chores or childcare, and one partner keeps forgetting or losing their ability to maintain attention.

If you or your partner are concerned that you may have ADD or ADHD, and you're not sure where to start, don't worry! One of the best things you can do is see a psychiatrist, psychologist, or even a primary care physician who is familiar with ADD and ADHD. They might be the first step towards getting a more formal diagnosis.

Finding an expert is step number 1. It can be a little tricky to get diagnosed accurately because other conditions may be at play, such as anxiety or depression. Talking to your doctor about how they diagnose ADHD and making sure that they'll be good at teasing apart all those potential diagnostic alternatives is crucial. You don't want to go see someone who is not familiar with it.

Remember, ADHD is not something you want to diagnose yourself with just by Googling symptoms. Please see an expert—whether it's at an ADD or ADHD specific clinic or a psychologist or psychiatrist who specializes in this—to get that step one diagnosis.

At Couples Counseling ATL we have a lot of expertise in helping individuals and couples understand their ADD and ADHD symptoms, and how it not only affects them personally, but how it may affect their relationship and what they can do about it