Flooded with Emotions? Learn to Take Effective Breaks
Do your partner’s complaints ever feel like they come out of nowhere, leaving you disoriented and upset? You might be experiencing emotional flooding, a state where healthy conflict resolution becomes impossible.
I’m Giovanna, a therapist at CCATL specializing in the Gottman Method. I’m here to help you navigate these moments and turn your relationship into a safe harbor.
In this series, we’ll explore how to take effective breaks during conflicts. Just as aerobic fitness requires an ideal heart rate, so does personal interaction. When conflicts arise, keeping your heart rate below 100 beats per minute is crucial to prevent flooding. If you exceed this, it’s time for a break.
How to Take an Effective Break:
Signal for a Break: Agree on a signal for when either partner feels overwhelmed.
20-Minute Minimum: Take at least 20 minutes to allow your body to calm down. This is the time it takes for norepinephrine, a stress hormone, to dissipate.
Avoid Distress-Maintaining Thoughts: During your break, steer clear of thoughts that fuel negativity, such as “I don’t have to take this” or “I’ll show them.”
Engage in Relaxing Activities: Use this time to do something soothing, like listening to calm music, taking a walk, or watching uplifting videos.
Breaks should not exceed 24 hours to avoid the perception of ignoring the issue, which could breach trust. Checking your heart rate during these moments can be a game-changer, and the good news is that pulse oximeters, which can measure your heart rate, are inexpensive and widely available.
Don’t miss out on our Gottman Couples Workshop led by our therapist and director, Stephanie Cook, on Saturday, September 7th. Register at the link below to strengthen your relationship with proven techniques.
If you’re ready to learn more about mastering these skills and building a lasting relationship, I invite you to book your consultation on our website today. Let's work together to empower your relationship with the Gottman Method.
