SOFTENED START-UP STEP 3

This week we've reached the last step of the softened start-up!

Remember, step 1 is to start to communicate your needs, in a non-blaming, softer, gentler way of requesting without demanding. Paint the picture of how they can “show up” and be there for you. If they receive your request non-defensively, they can easily help you with whatever is bothering you.

Step 2 is all about describing as neutrally as possible, your request or whatever happened that you're complaining about. It’s about putting your own perceptions and feelings into words and a softer tone.

Finally, step 3 is to give our partner a recipe for what they could do differently, and this part can be a really tough one--make a positive ask. Ask for your partner to change, but in a positive way.

Click on the link (bottom) to watch our latest video on this full topic (step 3) with our Gottman-Trained therapist and full-time couples therapist at Couples Counseling ATL, Matthew Richardson. Finally, stay tuned these next couple of weeks to learn more about different upcoming topics!