Ignore Advice From People Who Don't Believe In Marriage
Ever heard someone say, "If you want to have sex, don't get married!"? Someone's personal, negative experience doesn't mean it's true. Statistically speaking, most married people are happier, live longer, and have more sex.
Another myth is that most marriages end in divorce. In actuality, divorce rates have been declining since the 1980s. The "50% divorce rate" is no longer true.
There are so many other negative myths about marriage put forth by the pessimistic, uninformed or disillusioned. The sad truth is, some people just never learned how to create healthy relationships in the first place. Relationships fail for many reasons, but most often from lack of knowledge, followed by frustrated defeat, but not a lack of trying.
One contributing factor to better marriages today is that millennials are delaying marriage. For the first time in history, they understand that they don't have to get married. And yet, like so many generations before them, most of them still want to get married. Intuitively, we know that lifelong, committed relationships matter.
So millennials are still getting married, but they're being much more intentional about 1) deciding who to marry, 2) developing themselves first, and 3) investing in their relational education (learning about how to creating healthy, long-lasting marriages).
Many younger adults are taking marriage seriously and avoiding the pitfalls faced by their Boomer parents. Millennials don't want to make the mistakes of their parents. And with education and commitment, young adults are creating a realistic, educated, optimism in the marriage bond never seen before in previous generations.
Maybe you struggle with the idea of marriage, but still want it. Perhaps you've never seen a "happy marriage". They aren't unicorns--they exist all around. It's just that as humans, we tend to have more of an eye for the negative examples. They're more dramatic, memorable, and they stand out.
If if you want to know the core relationship skills that create sustainable intimacy, that prevent betrayal, and make marriage work, consider getting some counseling or reading some books on the subject. For reading, my personal favorites are "What Makes Love Last" by Dr. John Gottman and "Hold Me Tight," by Dr. Sue Johnson.
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Need help? Want some guidance on this topic or any other issues? If you would like to get help for yourself or your relationship, please consider individual or couples therapy. Call me at 678-999-2290 or email me at Stephanie@CounselingATL.com to schedule an appointment.
ABOUT: Stephanie Cook, LCSW, provides in-person and online counseling services to adults, teens, couples, and families; she specializes in working with young adults and couples on improving themselves and their relationships. Stephanie owns a small private practice, Counseling ATL, LLC, located in Decatur, an intown-suburb of Atlanta, GA, near Emory University. Her blog is dedicated to helping people improve their lives and relationships.
