5 Reasons Premarital Counseling Is The Best Gift Ever
I’m going to tell you a secret. I still have wedding gifts I’ve never even touched, and I’ve been married over a decade! But that premarital and pre-engagement counseling my then boyfriend, now husband and I did… priceless. Boy was it tough work, but it set us off on the right foot!
So let’s say you’re engaged and looking forward to forever. First of all, congratulations! It’s such an exhilarating time in your life! Like most couples, you are probably sure that you will find happily ever after and will simply waltz into marriage thinking your love will conquer all. If only that were true! There is a 50% divorce statistic for a reason. Everyone starts out in love, but not everyone is equipped. The fact is, marriage is work, and if you’re like many of us, you didn’t have the best role models. Marriage is not a quick fix for what’s broken or will simply teach you the skills you don’t have yet. Marriage is hard and life has a way of testing you. In those times, you have to rely on your partner. How well you can communicate and work together, how healthy your relationship is, will determine the path you ultimately take.
Pre-marital counseling is hands-down the best wedding gift you can give yourselves. You’ll get to know each other in ways that will sustain you as a couple. You’ll gain insight and skills you need – beyond love – for a strong, fulfilling marriage.
1. Pre-marital counseling is like health insurance for your marriage.
Pre-marital counseling gives you a chance to get to know yourself and your partner better. Studies have found that couples who received pre-marital counseling reported stronger marriages, better communication, greater marital satisfaction and lower rates of divorce that couples who did not participate in counseling.1 You can talk about the hard things before you have to face the hard things.
2. Pre-marital counseling teaches you how to communicate.
Communication is so much more than just talking. Communication is learning how to speak so your partner will hear you. It’s about learning to listen to what your partner is saying to you. Communication is about resolving conflicts in healthy ways. When relationships break down, couples stop talking and emotions can boil over. Pre-marital counseling will help you both learn when and how to speak to each other with respect and honesty, even in the face of intense emotions or trying situations.
3. Pre-marital counseling offers you the wisdom of an unbiased professional.
An experienced couple’s therapist can offer you the wisdom and expertise that comes with experience. Your therapist can guide you and challenge you to explore issues you may be unable to see through that rose-colored lens of love. Your therapist’s role is to guide you as a couple not to judge you. Neither you nor your partner need worry about being “ganged up on” which is a common concern when people are considering couples counseling.
4. Pre-marital counseling allows you to get to know each other on a deeper level.
How well do you really know your partner? How well do they know you? Couples often assume that their partner sees things the way they do – until the issue arises. Disagreements about having children, family, career aspirations, sex, money management, politics, religion, housework, parenting, hopes, dreams and other life matters can create rifts between partners and can even be deal breakers. Couples are often surprised to find out that their partners feel differently. Pre-marital counseling can help couples talk about those important life matters before they become issues.
5. Pre-marital counseling allows you to face your fears about marriage.
The idea of “forever” can be both exhilarating and terrifying! It’s OK and even normal to be scared about getting married. The fact is, big changes usually are scary. For some, the idea of marriage evokes fears that may have nothing to do with their partners. Maybe you’re from a divorced family and fear the same outcome. Maybe your parents did not model a healthy marriage and you worry about repeating their mistakes. Or something else. Whatever the fear, a couple’s therapist can help you understand and cope with your fears. Your partner will learn how to support you.
You and your partner are about to take the journey of a lifetime. Before you say, “I do” to each other, say “I do” to pre-marital counseling. You will be giving each other and your marriage a gift of that will prepare you for your big day and for years after.
Don’t hesitate and call us today to learn more about our premarital counseling options and give yourselves the gift of investing in your future together!
