What To Do When Couples Face Illness in Their Relationship

Have you ever wondered how illness tests the health of your relationship? I have seen it time and time again with couples in therapy, but let me share a recent personal experience with you as an example. 

Just a couple of weeks ago, I was hit hard with a double whammy of COVID and the flu. It wasn't pretty, let me tell you! My husband was juggling work, childcare, and taking care of me, while I was feeling like a feverish mess. It wasn't exactly a Hallmark moment, but it showed me something important: sickness tests the strength of any relationship.

Why Sickness Challenges Relationships:

Illness strips away facades, exposes vulnerabilities, and forces us to rely on each other in new ways. Unlike daily interdependency, where we work as a team and divide and conquer all that caring for a household demands, sickness often makes one of us unable to help out, adding more pressure on one person.

Some couples come out of this trial stronger, while others find the cracks widening. Research from the University of California, Berkeley, shows that couples facing chronic illness are 40% more likely to divorce, emphasizing the tremendous stress that illness puts on the couple, and the importance of communication and support during tough times.

Values Differences: 

Some couples may differ in their values related to caregiving. One may expect that when one of us is sick, the other takes care of everything, while the other person may have a more independent, “me” mentality, where you are expected to fend for yourself and not ask for anything. These expectations and values are often related to childhood experiences and need to be discussed in order for a couplehood to survive difficult periods such as illness.

Discover the secrets to a resilient relationship by tuning in to our latest video! Join our director and certified therapist, Stephanie Cook, as she explores the essential elements of fostering a stronger connection, especially during challenging times like illness.

Join us for the Gottman 7 Principles Workshop and give your relationship the jump-start it deserves.

It's never too late to make your relationship better. Spend just one Saturday, and you'll have the tools to change your future together. Click the button below to learn more and sign up to our Couples Workshop on April 13, 2024 which will be led by our Director and Gottman Trained Couples Therapist Stephanie Cook.