HOW YOU AND YOUR PARTNER CAN PREPARE FOR THE HOLIDAYS

Are you nervous about the holidays coming up this year? Thanksgiving, Christmas, Hanukkah, whatever you celebrate. Any holiday can cause stress and anxiety if you have in-laws or extended family with whom you don’t necessarily get along. Spending time with your in-laws may feel like you’re walking on eggshells. Maybe you’ve been in huge political disagreements this year or in the last few years and it’s been tense ever since. Or maybe you get the impression that your in-laws just don’t like you, and they’ve never accepted you into their family.

Well, in the Gottman Method of Couples Therapy we know that every marriage is a cross-cultural experience, regardless of whether people are from different or the same cultures. So no matter how similar your backgrounds may seem between you and your partner, every family is different and every family has its own culture.

I have a few tips as a Gottman couples therapist to help you feel confident together about how you’re going to handle those uncomfortable but common situations with your in-laws. Follow these guidelines to feel stronger, more connected, and a little bit more comfortable about your approach to holiday family stress:

1. Remember that your partner comes first!

2. Talk about the holidays with respect and transparency. You can reach a win-win.

3. Watch your expectations about the holidays.

4. Remember nobody is perfect, including yourself. Hang on to that humility.

5. Lastly, pick your battles.

Good luck with these holidays. Get a conversation going and start planning with your partner in advance. Don't forget to put your relationship first! Click on the link (bottom) to watch our latest video on this full topic with our Director and Gottman-Trained therapist at Couples Counseling ATL, Stephanie Cook, where she explains everything in detail. Finally, stay tuned these next couple of weeks to learn more about different upcoming topics!