The #1 Book to Understand Affairs, Cheating, and Infidelity in a Relationship

As a couple’s therapist, one of the books that I recommend most often is “Not Just Friends” by Shirley Glass. It is the best book, I would say, for immediately after or even years after an affair, cheating, or some sort of breach of trust.

I recommend reading the book in its entirety, but here is a summary: The author, Shirley Glass, discusses the stages of physical and emotional affairs, the factors that make you vulnerable to having an affair, and how to heal from infidelity as a couple. Emphasis is placed on not giving up immediately after discovering an affair.

Glass also explains the traumatic nature of affairs, especially for the person who has discovered infidelity. If you are not going to leave the relationship, rebuilding trust is really going to be an essential task for the two of you in order to heal and have a healthy relationship again. Eventually, rebuilding intimacy emotionally and physically with the person cheated on is going to be completely dependent on whether or not the unfaithful partner is willing to completely end and stop the affair, to become fully transparent with their partner, and to take ownership around responsibility for the impact of their actions.

Again, if you have been through an affair, whether you’re a couple or you’re just an individual looking to learn more about why it happens, this is the paramount book to read.

Click on the link (bottom) to watch our latest video on this full topic with our Director and Gottman-Trained therapist at Couples Counseling ATL, Stephanie Cook, where she explains everything in detail. Finally, stay tuned these next couple of weeks to learn more about different upcoming topics!