The Sound Relationship House
The Sound Relationship House Theory is the basis of Gottman Couples Therapy. There are 7 parts of the sound relationship house theory. Each of these levels involves the need to build a fundamental process.
1. Building love maps. The love map is the road map of your partner’s inner psychological world, which you store in your mind and continually update.
2. Share fondness and admiration. This is the antidote for contempt. Changing your habit of mind from scanning the environment for your partner’s mistakes to instead building a culture of appreciation, fondness, affection, and respect.
3. Turn towards bids for emotional connection. This process includes building awareness of how your partner asks for connection and expresses emotional needs. It is a daily decision to turn towards these bids rather than turning away or against them.
4. Positive perspective. These first three principles build the 4th level of the house, positive sentiment override. When you know your partner well, admire them, and are there for them, you generally view them in a really positive way, like rosy colored glasses, which buffers you from the typical wear and tear from disagreements and stress.
5. Managing conflict: Couples need to identify core differences and the anatomy of repeating negative cycles in their relationship. By anatomy, we mean that couples need to help understand what triggers escalation and negative feelings.
6. Make life dreams and aspirations come true. What is the basis of a continued positive emotional connection, even during a conflict? Therapists once (wrongly) believed that if a couples’ conflicts were resolved, positive feelings would simply rush into the couple’s relationship; however, we know thanks the research that great couples' relationships need so much more, including supporting each other’s dreams.
7. Create shared meaning. This is about intentionally creating a sense of shared meaning in your life together. A great relationship involves building a life together that is full of meaning and purpose that goes beyond your individual goals.
Click on the link (bottom) to watch our latest video on this full topic in detail, with our Director and Gottman-Trained therapist at Couples Counseling ATL, Stephanie Cook, where she explains everything in detail.
Finally, stay tuned these next couple of weeks to learn more about different upcoming topics!
